Crap

When life gives you lemons,

YOU TAKE THE LEMON AND THROW IT AT THE PERSON THAT GAVE YOU THE STOOOOOOOOOOPID LEMON IN THE FIRST PLACE!



Yes I like to say that.

And I also like to complain and ask God, "Why are You putting me through so much crap???"

But after I come out of that phase, I realise, He is putting me through all that to GROW UP.

Stop being so selfish.

Stop being so self-centred.

Stop being so ill-tempered.

Just shut up and listen.

And don't jump to conclusion like that.

Listen to His word, obey His commands, and then you will pull through.

And grow up to be more mature, and to be more in His image.

This Potter wants to mould this clay into something beautiful.



It will hurt along the way, but the outcome is simply worth it :)

Love

When you love someone, obviously you'd want to be there for them through the good times and also through the bad times right?



The message that I got tonight.

I was reminded of how much He loves me.

For He so loved the world that He sent His only Son to die for us, so that through His Son, we not just have eternal life, but a relationship with Him too.

God wants to be there for me, through thick or thin. I just have to remember to let Him in.

Happy Easter :)

The 7 Stations

This is way past my bedtime, but I wanted to blog it all out while its still fresh.

SIB KL is having an event called 7 Stations of the Cross in conjuction with Easter. Each cell has a designated date to attend and Sheep United's turn was last night, 24th March at 8pm.



The seven stations were literally seven stations around SIB KL. From the 3rd floor all the way up to the 6th.

Each station represented Jesus' journey starting from the last supper up until the moment He hung on the cross.

Each station had a significant meaning, and was a time of reflection. A very interesting form of quiet time.

We came as a group but we went on our own pace. It was an amazing journey of reflection in solitude I have to say.

The stations were basically this:

Station 1 - Jesus Washes His Disciples' Feet
Station 2 - The Lord's Supper
Station 3 - Gethsemane (where Jesus prayed)
Station 4 - The Arrest
Station 5 - The Trial (Jesus brought before Pilate)
Station 6 - The Way of the Cross
Station 7 - The Crucifixion

I will not go into detail about each and every single station, but I will go through the stations that really spoke to me.

I have to agree with what Rachel Thong said. The stations really made us think about everything that was happening. And yes, the stations that I went through challenged my way of thinking, and brought me into a deeper understanding of the scriptures.

Station 1 was where it all started.

We are all familiar with the part where Jesus started washing His disciples' feet right?

The act is in fact not a custom, but an essential practise during his time because unlike us, they had only sandals and had to walk through dirt and mud everyday. So they basically had very dirty feet.



The act of washing another person's feet is usually done by the servant to the master. But here we see Jesus doing it to his disciples. The master doing to the servants. A total role reversal here. Since the first time I read this passage many years ago, I always thought that all it meant was just about humility, until tonight.

The one important thing I missed out was that Jesus washed Judas feet, even though He knew that Judas was later going to betray Him for 30 pieces of silver.



Right here is a true demonstration of loving your enemies. I always thought that Jesus did it as some sort of cover, until I realise what God has been trying to say all along. Love your enemies.

Yes it is hard to actually go down to the lowest form of a servant on bended knees and to wash that stinky feet of the person you really hate. We all feel that way. But Jesus demonstrated true love here by washing the feet of he who was to betray Him.

And that really struck me and touched me. The rest of us including myself were inspired to forgive those who have hurt and offended us.

At that station, we were told to pick a stone from what I believe to be a bucket of pond water (it had fish smell all over it) and write the name of a person who did us wrong on that stone. We then proceeded to kneel down in front of a basin of water and "wash" their feet.

Wash away our hurt. Our grudges. And to love them just as Jesus loved His enemies. And I remembered something, even on the cross, Jesus did not ask God to strike the ones of persecuted them with lightning, but to forgive them for "they do not know what they do".

Station 2 was just as eye opening. It was a reminder of His faithfulness to us.

He took the cup of the new covenent, even though He knew that His disciples would betray, abandon and deny Him.



Imagine saying vows to the person whom you know would have an affair with someone else in the future.

Or promising to be best friends with a person that you know will betray you in the future.

Would you?

Jesus knew that I would back slide and sin, yet He still died on the cross for me. Willingly. I am just left speechless here.

Station 4 was confusing at first. They brought us through a journey of Jesus' arrest, from the moment Judas identified Him to the part where Jesus told Peter to keep his sword. At one pit stop, there were swords, and we were instructed to pick it up and hold it. And at another, there were cups. Again, we were instructed to pick it up and hold it.



What did the sword and cup mean?

Towards the end of the station I finally understood that passage.

Jesus had a chance to take things into His hands and escape (the sword). Who on earth would want to be arrested and then persecuted for something they did not do?

Yet He chose not to. He chose to, in complete obedience, follow God's will (the cup - the covenent).

Another reminder of how I should always say, let Your will be done, not mine.

The last station that really spoke to me was a rather interesting one, station 5.

At the entrance, they asked us 3 random and simple questions. At the next section, the answers were not given, but the statistics of the answers chosen by other people were given. Some answers were right, and some were purposely wrong. And then they asked us, do you want to change your answer before moving on?

Then moving on, we were asked to put some red paint on our palm to symbolise Jesus' blood on our hands. We were playing the role of Pilate.



In a maze-like section, and on the walls were multiple quotes by the people, asking Pilate to release Barabbas instead of Jesus. Towards the end were seates clothed in colourful and royal colours fit for a powerful person like Pilate.

Then we were asked, are we going to follow majority and wash our hands clean? Or to pick up the cross?



A very interesting motion here. It reminded and challenged us to decide if we were to just follow the majority or to stand up for the truth.

Well, those are the stations that really impacted me.

At the last station, after communion, we were all given a "letter from God". It truly reminded me of how much God loves me and what He has done for me. As I was reading the letter, it really felt as though He was speaking to me in person.

I wish I could have brought my camera with me and capture every single moment, but I do not think that it is allowed.

7 Stations of the Cross was the sort of revival I needed that I have been praying for. And now I truly appreciate what I have been taking for granted. And I feel and mean it even more when I say, "I love You Lord".

I love You Lord, and I lift my voice, to worship You. O my soul rejoice.

A Thought.

This is what we were always taught:

Put the needs of others before your own.

Ok, I should think of the needs of others first instead of my own. But who is going to take care of MY needs??

Simple answer came to me just now.

God.

Have a blessed day :)

Jehovah Jirah

Jehovah Jirah, the Lord provides.

For security and privacy purposes, the contents of the sms-es has been repharsed and edited. And the times and conversations are all estimation because I cannot remember the times at all except for a few.

12.30pm

sms from Melody.

Mel : Special event in Couz tonight at 8.30pm!

Me : Who else is goin?

No word from Melody ever since.

1pm

sms to Woan Na

Me : Woan Na! You going for Couz tonight?

1na : What is on tonight?

Me : *forwards Mel's sms to Woan Na*

1na : Are you going? With who?

Me : I think I will ask James.

messages going back and forth

1na : Andrew not going. I don't think I am going. I have classes at 8am tomorrow morning.

T.T

3.30pm

sms to Ronald

Me : Ronald, you going for Couz tonight?

No reply at all.

4pm

facebook chat with Ronald

Me : Ronald! Did you receive my sms?

Ronald : Yea about Couz? I don't think I am going.

T.T

Ponders to myself.

I really want to go tonight, but I do not know who is going. Never mind la. Just stay home tonight and study.

6pm

sms from Rachel

Rachel : Hey, I'll be picking you up for prayer meeting tonight. I'll be there around 8-ish

Me : Ok thanks!

*shocked*

7.15pm

sms from Woan Na

1na : See you there!

*squeels*

Me : You going?

Muahahaha happy!

8.10pm

conversation with Rachel in her car.

Me : How did you know that I wanted to come?

Rachel : Cissie asked me to pick you.

Me : How did Cissie know that I wanted to come?

Rachel : Melody?

Me : But I never told her that I am going. I only asked her who is going and she never replied!

Rachel : Owh! Izzit?

Me : Yea but nevermind la. I wanted to go anyway :)

Owh yea people.

The Lord provides.

He knew exactly what I needed last night.

The Perfect Sacrifice

Many people usually do not read the Old Testament because they find it to be filled with illogical miracles and happenings.

Others tried to, but got lost in Exodus when they came to the part where God is giving commands to Moses about things that are not really our concern in this modern era.

What they do not realise is that the Old Testament has a significant meaning to it, even if it the things there are not what we practise today. For example slaughtering a bull and dipping your fingers into its blood.

Starting from Exodus, it seems like a bunch of weird eww gross things that the Isrealites have to do in order to present themselves to God. But look a little deeper and you will start to get the whole picture.

I admit that I was a bit lost and slightly grossed out by the sacrificing thing.

But today it all changed from what God revealed to me. For the past few weeks, as I read through Leviticus, I came across countless of maticulous and extremely detailed acts that has to be carried out by the Isrealites to make atonement for their sins.

"If a member of the community sins unintentionally and does what is forbidden in any of the Lord's commands, he is guilty. When he is made aware of the sin he committed, he must bring as his offering for the sin he committed a female goat without defect. He is to lay his hand on the head of the sin offering and slaughter it at the place of the burnt offering. Then the priest is to take some of the blood with his finger and put it on the horns of the altar of burnt offering and pour out the rest of the blood at the base of the altar. He shall remove all the fat, just as the fat is removed from the fellowship offering, and the priest shall burn it on the altar as an aroma pleasing to the Lord. In this way the priest will make atonement for him, and he will be forgiven" Leviticus 5.27-31

Wow, all that in order to rid one of his or her sins.

Everytime I read a passage as such, instead of complaining, "GOD this is so disgusting, what is with all this gorry and boring and unrelated issues that is in the bible?? We don't even do that anymore...", I would be thanking God that we do not have to do such "gorry and disgusting" things to make atonement for our sins.

In the Old Testament days, if you sin, you are unworthy and must make a sacrifice to the Lord that is pleasing to Him so that you will be forgiven. The animal that you are to sacrifice must be without defect, in other words, perfect.

2000 years ago, the perfect sacrifice was made. The sinless and worthy lamb was led willingly to the slaughter so that we might be at one with God again.

So I thank God for the perfect sacrifice, Jesus Christ, who willingly died on the cross to save man kind. Because of what He has done, we do not need to kill anything, neither do we need a medium to repent of our sins and be reconciled with our creator.

God's perfect plan, don't you think so? Hehe

Another thing that I keep running into in the book of Leviticus is that each sacrifice must be perfect and without defect.

"Do not bring anything with a defect, because it will not be accepted on your behalf." Leviticus 22.20

Its signifance never occured to me until the Holy Spirit revealed to me this morning. During those times, that rule can be applied to the sinful Isrealites, and even during our contemporary times, it applies to us as well.

Translated, the things that we do, the things that we offer to God must be PERFECT and WITHOUT DEFECT. Going a little deeper, it means that in everything that we do, we must give our all for Him, because that is what He truly deserves.

We must do our very best in everything that we do, and make it as an offering onto Him. Sure, we ourselves are not perfect for we are only human. Flawful and with iniquity. But no matter what, we should always try our utmost best in whatever it is that we are doing for the Lord. It does not matter in which aspect do we serve Him, be it worship lead, bible school, sunday school teacher, and even in our studies. Do the very best you can for Him.

You think that I am making all this up?

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 12.30

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, in everything that you do, don't do it for the sake of doing or. Or to gain worldly acknowledgements and fame. But do it for the glory of our Lord, the Maker of heaven and Earth.

God bless :)

Is It Really?

Yes yes it is possible.

There is a chance that I can get A for my Paper 2 in Physics.

I just need to make sure I do not screw up more than 12 marks, and I am all set.

I hope.

God be kind to me...

More calculations, less reasoning please...

More questions so that the weightage of marks are even...

Give me wisdom and strength to carry through because I have a strong feeling that there is something not quite right with my head right now...

I pray this in the Almighty name of Jesus Christ,

Amen...

The Future

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29.11

My Soul Cries Out

I am where I am now, because You made it so. I am who I am, because I was made in Your image. Everything I am, everything I have, not by my own might, but by Your grace and love that upholds me.

No matter how much I wished and hoped otherwise, You made it so for my own good. Even though I lamented and whined and hated it, You did it all for my own good. To protect me. To break me. To mould me. To bring me closer to You.

It never was easy, walking down this path, but Your promises You fulfilled and made all this possible. Your commands are hard to keep, I admit, because of the great temptations of this world. But eternal are the rewards when I obey, not only knowing or being sure of what is in stored for me when I finally return Home to You, but knowing that it pleases You, and brings me closer to You. So Your commands shall I keep, Your promises I shall wait upon.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, because You willed it to. I may not understand it at first, thinking of it as a tragedy or an attack of the enemy. So I complained and at times refused to accept. Yet after a while, I begin to understand. I begin to see from a different view.

You do things Your way because it is the best way to be done. You do things in Your timing because there is no timing more prefect than Yours. All for my own good. So many times have things gone astray in my sight, but when in Your eyes, it is going exactly as according to Your plan, my future that You have written for me even before I knew You.

Thank You for Your love and protection, ever since I took my first breath. Heck You are the reason I was able to take my first breath, and Your timing that I am alive today to serve You and walk in Your ways. A second too late, another twist and turn, and I might not be where I am today.

Please do not pass me by, keep my close to You always. Watch over me, my every moment. Strengthen me, encourage me, uphold me. Praise You for Your love and faithfulness.

I love You Lord, for You are good. My Father, friend, refuge, my rock and source of strength.

CHRISTmas!!!!! stupid santa

Ok mummy will kill me after reading this post because right now I am suppose to be studying. Er half an hours break ma? Teehee

By now all of you have probably heard the media's interpretation as to what Christmas means

1. Christmas is about giving

2. Christmas is about friends and family

3. Christmas is about presents

4. Christmas is about Santa Claus what the french connection united kingdom heck

5. Christmas is not Christmas without snow and pretty bright lights and loads and loads of presents and turkey

and so on.

Yes yes, we never said that it is wrong to give. It is great that you spend it with your friends and family. But Santa Claus??

Hohoho Merry Christmas!!!!

That big fat red guy that everyone idolises during this time of the year? Yea he dunno, he do drugs. I kick his ass guitar hero ZOMG
I find it really irking that the most popular person during Christmas is not me Jolly Old Saint Nick. Every year people would tell tales about him to their kids, dress up as him, portray him as the most important element of this season because if you are naughty, you will wake up to find coal in your socks. There are even songs written about him!!!
Christmas is not about him!! If it is, the holiday should be called Clausmas or Santamas or Sanata-ana...

The word Christmas originated as a compound meaning Christ's Mass.

Who was born on 25th December some 2000 years ago? Punch yourself in the face if you do not know because u dunno u do drugs

Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ. Jesus, the Messiah, the Son of God. He who came to the world to die on the cross for not only those who are called Christians, but for EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US! Yes, that means you!

Did Santa die bearing all your sins upon the cross? No. All he does is break in to your homes and steal your food! So get it right. On Christmas, celebrate Christ. JESUS. Not Santa. Or Rudolph. Or Dasher or Prancer and the other raindeers. Teehee

Owh what the heck, celebrate Him everyday for He is good and He loves you! Lolz

This is Vincent's rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas, but for some reason there are only 8 days in his calender. Hmm, must be a hippo thing...

8 fat juicy turkeys

7 turtleDUCKS

6 tortoiseSwans
5 gold ear rings
4 spanish cows

3 french hens

2 itallian chicks

and a bak'ry of GINGERBREAD TREE!! hahahah!!

*faints*
Silly hippo ^-^

Merry Christmas to:
- My dear family. You guys are a pain in the neck. I love you hehe. Ma, I just found out where I inherited my crazy laughters from. Its from YOUR side of the family. Badaq, KUO!! Please do not introduce me to anymore of your crazy friends. Wilson is enough, TMTH!!! Haha. Ko and Wee Leng, when are you guys getting married I miss you guys!! Hope you doing fine in Perth!

- My brothers and sisters in KDU CF!!! Praise God for you guys. Woohoo!! Vincent Hippo Hio!! You have been a great encouragement, including your random nonsense lameness!! Thanks for making me smile =) Roy, thanks for the songs, I am enjoying them alot!! Xiying and Aaron, YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! Loves infinity to all of you.

- My friends and classmates in KDU. We are going to rock KDU 2009!!! Lolz Pah pah Alep I want to watch PGL!! Promise!! Arsyad, please keep your exercises away from your kittens from now on!! Ni, when are you getting back with my adik? I want to remain being besan with you. Hahaha you guys are really wonderful and nice to me even though we have not known each other for that long. Love you all loads!

- My former Townians. I miss you guys! Jia Seng and Cindy, wish you guys are here. Panda, are you sure you are not the king of gossip? Lolz Nancy, I love you more than for the reason you can count money for me! Teehee oi Suria, I am so incredibly kind to you with that bag, I am expecting special treatment from you from now on. Hehe jk.. Hohoho you kiasu phai kias ah bengs and ah lians, I hope you all are doing fine wherever you are now!!

- And to everyone else who does not fall into any of the categories above! Thanks for reading my blog and God bless you! Just because your names are not mentioned in this post, it does not mean that I love you any lesser than those orang peliks people up there.

Merry Christmas and have a blessed year ahead!!

Impatient Little Sheep

For the pass few days, it seems as though the Lord has been testing my patience. Either that or the enemy is poking me with a stick, waiting for me to self-destruct or something. Whatever it is, I am very much surprise by my reaction towards some of the things that has happened. Well, some of it.

I admit, most of the times I am not very patient. I get agitated easily, and I end up sulking and phase into emo mood for the silliest reasons. Ok, that was and still is very stupid of me. But hey, day by day I learn, and I am growing, trying to be a better person, be more Christlike. So for the past few days, I have been quite patient. Surprisingly, but of course this is not by my own might, but by His grace and spirit that I am able to retain myself from exploding.

I never really adressed this issue until this afternoon while I stood in the LCCT waiting for the Air Asia counter to open as I watched everyone hustle by. It was annoying that the counter was still closed while the others with a much later flight were opened. Plus my shoulders were aching from carrying my heavy backpack with my laptop and a few books inside. And not to mention the fact that my legs were still a little sore from skating yesterday. So yeah, irritation started to set in. But before I allowed myself to get angry at the entire situation, I took a step back and thanked God for everything. For journey's mercy from KL Central to LCCT, for the LCCT itself, and other stuff. By the time I looked up, I realised that the counter had been opened for a few minutes now. Teehee

My patience was once again tested when we were about to board the plane. Yes yes, priority goes to the rich people that paid extra for express boarding. But why la the normal queue takes such a loooooooooong time to process even though there are three Air Asia employees working at the front?? Plus, I stress again, my heavy backpack.

Fuhh the night before, Suria and I had to wait a long time for unrapid kl to reach Sunway and it was already getting quite late and I was dead tired and I have not even packed yet and ARGH!! Ok last night I got impatient a bit. So I complained.
Nothing wrong with complaining right? Hmm think again. That impatient feeling put the weight of the world on my chest and suddenly everything seemed wrong. I just felt like blaming everything and everyone for the situation I was in. It was not a nice feeling. I just felt really crappy and blegh...

I do not like that negative feeling, that evil little emotion set by the enemy. Not one bit. How do I counter it? Prayer people, by prayer. So anyway, back to the loooong queue airport incident, yes yes yes I was starting to feel that evil thing setting in again. Need I stress again about my heavy backpack? Lolz so before I allowed my impatience to consume me, in my heart I said a little prayer. I thanked Him again for where I am and for protection, and I asked Him to strengthen me and with His spirit help me to be patient and to remove all surpressing emotions that I was feeling at that time.

God is good I tell you. Before long, the queue was cut short and and AND, I got the window seat :p

Another surprising moment for me was when I arrived home last night, opened my room door, and before I turned on the lights, I realised that I had stepped into something wet. Crap, my room got flooded abit due to my own oblivion to close the room window earlier on in the day, and it rained cats and dogs that evening, so yeah. Flood...
Analysing the situation here: I just got back from a long day, I was dead tired, it was already 11something pm, I have not packed my clothes yet, I have not arranged my notes yet, I have not showered yet, I was still indecisive as to what to bring back to Kuching, and to add to the stress, now I had to spend my precious time in cleaning up the mess?!?!?!?! Like what the french connection united kingdom heck, I was soooo not in the mood for that.

It was always times like this where I would get very very very impatient and be very bitchy and pissy. Surprisingly though, praise God, I cleaned up the mess without any sort of anger or negative emotions. God gave me patience and strength to overcome that feeling. Imagine if I acted according to my emotions that time. Suria could have been hurt by me yelling at her for something that was not her fault, and I could have hurt and offended Vincent, Jason, Alep and Kautsar whom I was texting at that time by telling them to leave me alone and stop SMS-ing me at that moment.

Patience is a virtue. A virtue that I am struggling with. His word says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" Gal 5.22-23a (emphasis added).

I have to learn to be patient. Many times I have fallen all because I allowed my impatience to swallow me, and I end up hurting not only myself and my relationship with God (by sinning), but I also hurt others who suffered the "wrath" of my impatience. Hmm come to think about it, many times this emotion led me to being self-centred and harsh. Not very nice now, is it?

There were a few times when I came close to entertaining such emotions. There was once this lady overtook me and cut my queue, and on the inside, I was like, "Well! Ex-ke-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me bitc--" but before I even completed that sentence, something inside of me went, "Ah-ahem!!!! What was it that you were going to say???" Oops hehe
I learn from the pastor in SIB KL that instead of complaining about things, just THANK GOD for whatever it is!! Kind of a "glass is half full and not half empty" situation here.

Change is one thing that everyone wants to go through. Change to be a much better person. I have tried that years ago, but it was only when I seeked God's help to change and allowed His spirit to work in me that I really did change for the better. So regarding my impatience, since it has proven to be destructive to me, I shall change! Obviously it would not be the easiest thing in the world, but is it not written that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength? Hehe

So yeah, as time goes by, through trials and tribulation, that is how He is moulding me. Slowly He is showing me all my flaws. Like refining gold, you need to put it through grinding and intense heat for the impurities to rise to the surface. Just like you and I, through every rough situation, our flaws and weaknesses are reveal so that we can work on them and realise our mistakes, repent on them and allow God to work in us.

Whoa this is one long God-inspired post. Having written all this looong and winding words and sentences, I have to admit, I am happy XD

God bless