Meshed Up Lyrics

I can't take this any longer
Thought that I was stronger
I hate this part right here
Don't know who my real friends are
Everything is f-ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do when it all falls apart?
Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads no where?
Stop this train, I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed its moving in
Won't someone stop this train?
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
And I can't explain why its not enough
Cause I'd give it all to you
The pieces don't fit anymore
You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
Well the truth hurts, a lie's worse
I cannot give anymore
Waiting on the world to change
How am I suppose to breathe with no air
Can't live can't breathe with no air
Will it all get better in time?
Ku katakan dengan indah
Dengan terluka
Hati ku hampa
Membuat ku terjatuh and terjatuh lagi
Membuat ku merasakan yang tak terjadi
I'll cry you a river
Rain drops keep falling on my head
Why does the sun go on shining?
I don't blame you for being you
Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You doing that thing you do

Should I say I'm Done?

Tell me that its over
Don't tell me that its over...

I Love You. I Forgive You

This post is about the STE program.

We finished our AS exams two weeks ago, and by right we were suppose to have holidays last week.

I was suppose to be in Kuching eating tomato kueh tiaw and acting like a total princess around the house again last week. But no.

No holidays for us because our beloved sponsors sent us on a motivational camp called Soaring The Eagle (STE), which ate up our entire holiday. Petronas spent RM4000+ per student, which will accumulate in our statement, thus increasing the amount of money that we have to pay back after we finish our degree.

Wonderful right?

No seriously. It was wonderful of Petronas to do something like that for us. STE was the most amazing experience I have ever had!! PETRONAS I LOVE YOU!!!

Before we went there, I knew it was going to be fun. But fun was a huge underestimation of what STE really was.

We first gathered at KLCC, and waited hours for the bus because of a miscommunication. And because of what I believe to be another miscommunication, we had to wait a while longer for the second bus to come. BUT, alls well ends well because KDU conquered the second bus!!! Muahaha

We had the whole bus to ourselves while Taylors, UTP, Nottingham and one Cyberjaya squeezed in the first bus

The place was not that bad. My only complains were that there is no sink in the toilet at all. And the water was eeewy brown. I had to steal bottles of mineral water just to brush my teeth.

No sink............ The boy's toilet.. Mine was bigger :p

Not forgetting the horrifying fact that we need to climb a steep slope/stairs (depending on which path you take) just to get to the classes at least twice a day.

AND my terrifying encounter with a centipede and a scorpion!!!

Stupid centipede! It was huge!! The boys told me to kill it, but I did not dare.

Evil......................

Stupid scorpion!!! It was HUGE!!! I have never come so close to one and it was life threatening! No, it was not dead. It was charging at us and I practically ran down the stairs! Luckily the boys were with us and they tossed it aside. That was on the second day. After that I had trauma of taking the stairs and opted for the slopey slope...

We saw a lot of other creepy crawlies as well. A huge praying mantis, grasshopper, frogs, and so on.

That is all the complains I had about Agrotech Hulu Langat. Other than that, the place is beautiful, and the Indon employees there are super friendly. They can easily put Malaysians to shame when it comes to hospitality.

Agrotech Garden Resort!!

One of its many amazing landscapes

Nice right?

The view from the top of the hill at 8am

The food there was nice!! BUT, fate was not kind as I had a huge and horrijible ulcer and they were serving food 6 times a day!!!

Maybe the ulcer was a good thing. It helped me control my eating and prevented me from being a total glutton because the food was sooooo nice!!!!

We were served a variety of food every single day. It depended on the theme of the day. We had Indian, Malay, Western and Chinese. One of the best part about the themes was that the employees serving us will also get dolled up in their best costume that went along with the theme. Great service right?

One of the best dinners. I did not care about my ulcer that time. Lolz Oh no no, this is not my plate. It was Ah Siang's plate. Soooo greedy...

I love love love the rice!! Can I go back to Agrotech just for the rice??

BBQ Lamb!!!

I love teh tarik :p

At first I was not sure what we were going to do during the camp. I had bits and pieces of information, but not enough to paint a picture of what STE is about.

Unexpectedly, we have classes everyday.

"What?!?! You say STE fun but got class everyday?? You ki siao ah??"

YES... One of the reasons STE was fun is because of the classes!!

It was very interactive with a lot of bonding and sharing moments. It is this type of thing that brings us all closer to one another. We learn so much from each other and from there, we can soar like an eagle!

On the first day of class we had a fun ice-breaking game where we came up with adjectives to go along with our names. The results are:

We also got the chance to come up with our own punishments. They gave us an egg each to take care of for 5 days. But mine broke, and I blame Mr Nordin from ESU (it broke during his session and I have no idea how it happened), and the second egg I got broke as well. Up to now, I have no idea what Arsyad did to it. Doesn't matter anyway :p

Da rulez

Some of the stuff on our walls

We also had loads of group discussion and presentations. This was a major learning experience because we were able to voice out our opinions and overcame our fear of public speaking. In fact, I enjoyed the presentation part :)

On of our many group discussions

Synthium's group presentation.

There were times when they made us do really weird things that seems stupid and pointless at first, but after that we came to realise the significance of the activity and learn from it. Whoever came up with such activities should be a psychologist!

We were divided into three groups. Mine was Primax. At first we got our butts kicked by Sprinta, but in the end, we prevailed and victory was ours!! Lolz

Primax!! Me, Felisberto, Khoo, Raymond, Sarah and Jon

Our facilitators were Joyful Jalil and Thoughtful Tasnima. They rock!! They look old and boring, but whoa are they fun!! Before taking a picture, Pn Tasnima will always and forever say, "Make sure you can see my lipstick yea!" Lolz

Coolest facilitators ever!!

STE was the only time when I was able to practise my drawings! They asked us to draw a picture of what we will be like 15 years from now. We all came up with funny yet inspiring things such as conquering Mt Averest, owning our own company, private jets and huge mansions.

The collection of our amazing work of art.

Yes. Go ahead and laugh. Lolz

My interpretation of the following words. My favourite is anger and hatred :p

We did alot of other things as well. I would really love to go into detail as to how STE was, but there is a risk of future STE goers reading my blog, and it will spoil the surprise and ruin their fun. And also because if I did go into detail, this post will be super long you will fall asleep reading it.

So here is a short recap of some of the things we did in class:

Therapy and relaxation session:

Comel!!! Hadi terkangkang.. hahaha

Perempuan Melayu Terakhir (Yvonne)

They gave us free sarongs and let us sleep for 30 minutes!! It was actually a suggested method to relax ourselves.

SOS:

Group 2 (Mach 5).. We rocked!!!

The only outdoor activity we had. It was fun and another huge lesson we learn from it, just like our XY Game: We are ONE Petronas!!!

STE Idol:

The two miserable judges and dashing Paula!! Hadi, Sarah and Irfan

The fans giving their support

The poster my group made for me. I love love love it!

We had a singing competition in class. It was not just a chance for us to sing. There was actually a big lesson to learn from it. Not so much the singing, but the comments given by the judges.

Words That Hurt:

Syafiq and Irfan (from Synthium) acting out the words.

It was fun converting mean words into nicer words or a nicer way to say those words. And we had to act it out as well. Sprinta was the best. Daniel's bra size. Haha Classic...

Public Speaking:

1st Night, Group 2

Among all the other activities, I dreaded this one before I went for it. Mariam, Raymond and I were so nervous!! Now, I wish that we were given 5-8 minutes to speak, not 3 super short minutes. It was a bonus that I got my facilitators that night :)

Ah Long:

Devil and the angel. And Raymond

Ah Pek Hadi

Yvonne, Obie and I: Ah Longs terrorizing Mariam and Nurul!!!

We split into two groups and acted out a scene. Poor Mariam got raped! And sorry Nurul!! I kinda abused her a bit. Hehe. But the best Ah Long was Khoo :)

The things we did outside the classroom:

Chicken dance!!

Almost everynight, we will do the chicken dance and pocoh-pocoh voluntarily. Lolz

Ah Siang, Jeremy and Chan. Jeremy can always be seen up on stage doing a funny dance... Hillarious....

The infamous karaoke sessions we have. We did not care how we sound, we just sang!

Guys from Taylors and Jon from Sunway :)

We also played UNO at night when we did not have anything on. Poor Raymond kept getting caught because he did not say "Uno" or "Uno game". Lolz...

Mandi air sungai!!

If we have the time, we would swim!! Some of them were crazy enough to do backflips and what nots into the river. At first I was really hesitant to go in because:

1. It was not as clean as I thought it would be, especially after it rained.
2. My facilitator said he saw a snake in there once!!
3. THERE ARE STUPID FISHES NIBBLING EVERYONE'S TOES!!! I have a phobia of tiny fishes biting me since I was young...

But in the end, Mariam and I decided to go in anyway and join in the fun. Hehe

The last night was fun. We had another idol competition and the dinner was whoa... Some of the employees dressed (or rather undressed) like red-indians and played with fire for our entertainment.

Idol competition!! Nordin and I got second. Nyahaha

Overall STE was an amazing journey of self-discovery. From it, we expanded our network and befriended loads of people from other colleges. I found my future classmates from Taylors, and I am excited!!

The people there are amazing and it was nice to know them on a more personal level. Right Yvonne? :)

And it was also fun to hear from the international students about their life in UTP.

STE was an amazing adventure that really helped to build our character. We learned to love and forgive one another. And also heaps about teamwork and leadership. Apart from that, we learned to not be judgemental and the importance of sharing our problems with one another.

I love STE.

We want another one.

I really hope that our BTN will be with the people from Sunway and Taylors as well!!

I miss them all and I cannot wait to see them again!

My next post will be about the people that I met in STE.

The Perfect Sacrifice

Many people usually do not read the Old Testament because they find it to be filled with illogical miracles and happenings.

Others tried to, but got lost in Exodus when they came to the part where God is giving commands to Moses about things that are not really our concern in this modern era.

What they do not realise is that the Old Testament has a significant meaning to it, even if it the things there are not what we practise today. For example slaughtering a bull and dipping your fingers into its blood.

Starting from Exodus, it seems like a bunch of weird eww gross things that the Isrealites have to do in order to present themselves to God. But look a little deeper and you will start to get the whole picture.

I admit that I was a bit lost and slightly grossed out by the sacrificing thing.

But today it all changed from what God revealed to me. For the past few weeks, as I read through Leviticus, I came across countless of maticulous and extremely detailed acts that has to be carried out by the Isrealites to make atonement for their sins.

"If a member of the community sins unintentionally and does what is forbidden in any of the Lord's commands, he is guilty. When he is made aware of the sin he committed, he must bring as his offering for the sin he committed a female goat without defect. He is to lay his hand on the head of the sin offering and slaughter it at the place of the burnt offering. Then the priest is to take some of the blood with his finger and put it on the horns of the altar of burnt offering and pour out the rest of the blood at the base of the altar. He shall remove all the fat, just as the fat is removed from the fellowship offering, and the priest shall burn it on the altar as an aroma pleasing to the Lord. In this way the priest will make atonement for him, and he will be forgiven" Leviticus 5.27-31

Wow, all that in order to rid one of his or her sins.

Everytime I read a passage as such, instead of complaining, "GOD this is so disgusting, what is with all this gorry and boring and unrelated issues that is in the bible?? We don't even do that anymore...", I would be thanking God that we do not have to do such "gorry and disgusting" things to make atonement for our sins.

In the Old Testament days, if you sin, you are unworthy and must make a sacrifice to the Lord that is pleasing to Him so that you will be forgiven. The animal that you are to sacrifice must be without defect, in other words, perfect.

2000 years ago, the perfect sacrifice was made. The sinless and worthy lamb was led willingly to the slaughter so that we might be at one with God again.

So I thank God for the perfect sacrifice, Jesus Christ, who willingly died on the cross to save man kind. Because of what He has done, we do not need to kill anything, neither do we need a medium to repent of our sins and be reconciled with our creator.

God's perfect plan, don't you think so? Hehe

Another thing that I keep running into in the book of Leviticus is that each sacrifice must be perfect and without defect.

"Do not bring anything with a defect, because it will not be accepted on your behalf." Leviticus 22.20

Its signifance never occured to me until the Holy Spirit revealed to me this morning. During those times, that rule can be applied to the sinful Isrealites, and even during our contemporary times, it applies to us as well.

Translated, the things that we do, the things that we offer to God must be PERFECT and WITHOUT DEFECT. Going a little deeper, it means that in everything that we do, we must give our all for Him, because that is what He truly deserves.

We must do our very best in everything that we do, and make it as an offering onto Him. Sure, we ourselves are not perfect for we are only human. Flawful and with iniquity. But no matter what, we should always try our utmost best in whatever it is that we are doing for the Lord. It does not matter in which aspect do we serve Him, be it worship lead, bible school, sunday school teacher, and even in our studies. Do the very best you can for Him.

You think that I am making all this up?

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 12.30

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, in everything that you do, don't do it for the sake of doing or. Or to gain worldly acknowledgements and fame. But do it for the glory of our Lord, the Maker of heaven and Earth.

God bless :)

You Are Not Lost

Yea, do not worry. You are not lost. Hehe this is Sherene Jawing's blog.

I have always wanted to change my blog skin long ago, but never had the time to do so.

I have been working on it since I got back from CF today, and now my eyes hurt. Hehe

Hope you like it. If you don't then, too bad. Because I like it :p

Ciao people. I am going for cell tonight.

Finally, I know. Hehe

Farewell

This week will be the last time I see my Petronas and JPA seniors, so I would very much like to dedicate this post to them.

Thank you guys so very much for helping us all. Thank you for all your books and notes. And you tips, hints and secrets about classes and exam. Not forgetting your list of what to do and what not to do.

The very first senior I met was Syamil in recom, and together with Wendin, Farah and Bian, they unveiled the secrets of KDU to me, Alep and Yvonne even before we stepped foot into the place. Hehe that was fun guys.

Syamil, Wendin, Farah, Bian, Philip, Kak Nadia, Vincent, Hardeep, Amy, Daniel and so on, thank you so much for everything :)

And yes Syamil, you guys have done alot for us!

So yea, if there is a chance, I might see you guys in August.

I wish you guys all the best in your future. God bless :)

Because He Is Shmall....

Kids are cute.

They are super adorable.

But they do not stay cute forever. Until they reach a certain age, they swap their cuteness with pain-in-your-ass-ness like me little sister at home

Despite the fact that they are given the name Terrible Two when they reach the age of two, you cannot deny the fact that they are still sho cute...

Exhibit A : My cousin Ah Seng.

He is a monster!

He literally bit my chemistry SPM revision book and tried to wrestle it!

He wiped his saliva (or was it booger) on my shirt while I was carrying him!

BUT... He is still so smal hence cute and adorable! You just want to cuddle him and kiss him and hug him and carry him and never ever want to return him to his mum!

See!!

So small and adorable and argh so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a sudden rush of nostalgia when I saw his picture in my brother's blog. Since I did not go back home to Kuching for Gawai, I missed out on a chance to see little Ah Seng again.

Owhwellthatslife... Pfft fler....

Its Not Over Yet

SAT is finally over!!!

Honestly, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. The critical reading section was the toughest, and I was delighted everytime we reached a math section. Until results are out, we are not allowed to discuss any of the questions, not that I would ever want to in the first place.

Stupid essay! I was writing so hard on 2B pencil until my muscles ache until now. How in the world can anyone write an essay in under 25 minutes? I am absolutely flabbergasted that anyone can manage to do so and score a perfect 12 for their essay.

Results are expected to be out at the end of June. But I seriously want my results now! I am dying of curiousity here! Haiz I am hopeful though, that I do not have to repeat it in November. SAT is tiring, and I do not want to go through it again...

Despite being an agonizing exam to study for, I actually did learn a few things from the SAT. One thing I have realised from sentence error is that my stupid blog is so full of sentence errors! Parallel error, comma splice error, dangling modifiers etc... My grammar is in fact, atrocious! I have been feeding all of you lies all this while!! My sincerest apologies.

Even though my battle with SAT has passed, the war has not ended yet. I still have three more battles with Cambridge next week, then it will finally be over. So senile old woman mother, for the umphteen time, I finish my exam on the 10th, and my STE camp is from 14th June til 20th June. Ask me one more time and I am going to ...

*clears throat*

This is the group of people that I have been frequently studying with.

Celebrating Ma Li Ya's birthday together with Jo Sze, Richie, Ling and Amin

They are insane. Period! Truth be told, we talk, joke, laugh, insult and play more than we study when we are put together. Hehe

I found out this week that Yu Full and George are both offered ADP in Taylors (2 years) then USA (3 years) by JPA. Bravo guys :)

By the way, happy birthday Yu Full my slave!!! You will have a "fun" time when you get your slave butt down to Selangor! Hehe

Ok, break time is over. I shall now continue to be a nerd, just as what Badaq keeps calling me.

Well Badaq, if I do not study, I cannot fly overseas, and my muscle ache from SAT would be in vain. There.

I am God's precious jasmine flower that stands out in the dark :)

ps: Thank you Jackeline for the serenely beautiful Twilight soundtrack that you sent me. May you and your husband, Violin, have perfect happiness forever! Lolz

Make Way For The Princess!

Sorry guys. Today the princess is not me.

I have decided to be the best cousin in the world and borrow my cousin the tiara for a day.

Hence, this post is dedicated entirely to the princess for a day, BADAQ!!!

HAPPY OUK KUO AAK KAA DUDU PIKU WHEEEEEE *SLAP EMOTICON* DAY!

You are now officially 24 years old! *coughcougholdcoughcough*



I bet you have been extremely annoyed by me lately for many reasons: My *slap emoticons*, pyramids of funny looking flers and crazy head shaking onion people, me studying ALL THE TIME like a nerd, and of course, me not going to Penang yet.

Hahaha

Be patient la. Wait for my exams to finish, and I promise I would not be a nerd anymore, that is, until my next exams come again.

As the years pass us by, I feel closer to you, despite the distance between us. Thank God for MSN aye? And I know that when I am overseas (IF I do manage to go overseas), I am going to miss tomato kueh tiaw, sundrop, tokiwado, mama's pasta and mix vegetable and mash potatoes, sugarbun, kangaroo mimi and oh yea, you. Lolz

Thank you for teaching me the art of annoying Wilson. I simply love it everytime he responds to me greeting him on MSN : Oh sheet its u!

Muahaha but please, no more whacky friends from your side. Wilson is TMTH!

YOU BIG TOWNAI!! I do not understand why I am dedicating this post to you!!

You and Ko like to bully me! Not funny!!

But I do enjoy spending time with you. Our KK trip for example. Hehe

There are many more to come right? All we have to do is just take Mimi's credit card and ... Lolz

I wuff you che even though you are a pain in my kah-cheng sometimes. Hehe

Having said that, I dedicate this video to you.

Lolz!!

Happy birthday che. Love you loads and God bless.