English Classes are...

PUCCI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gahahahahahaha
*sorry, you'll only understand this if you are studying here or if you are the famous italian designer dereko francesco that apparently hails from KK, Sabah*

Ok, I know that I said that I enjoy English classes. But now, I am starting to feel the burn....

Crap, it is called English Language. The first thing that comes to mind when you see the name of the class are English Grammar, essay writing and blah blah blah.

Well my dear diminishing number of readers, looks can be deceiving. Or in this case, NAMES can be deceiving.

KDU management should seriously change the name of the class to English LITERATURE. This is nothing like the English classes that we did in our O-Levels. Here in KDU, we do poem analysis, short story analysis and everything that has to do with literature. ZOMG

It is the hardest thing involving the English Language that I have ever come across, so much so that it actually shook my confidence in actually passing English class. and you all know that my english is very keng de rite?? rite?? *chokes*

Just to give you guys a little insight as to how devastatingly frustrating English class is, here is my classmate Alep Bing Satu Daun Chandler Gahaha New York New York's take on the class.

Who in the world knew that analysing a poem or a short story is so tedious! You cannot simply take things literally as everything has another side to it or has a deep meaning to it.

For example:

1. The watch in A Rose for Emily symbolises how Emily is ignorant of time and likes to cling onto the past. Another proof or symbol thingy that she like does not like changes and likes to hang onto the past is when she keeps the dead body of her lover in her bedroom for more than 40 freakin' years. Psycho...

2. In the Cask of Amontillado, the title itself is very symbolic and foreshadows Fortunato's death as the title means Fortunato's grave. Dude seriously, after reading through the whole story, I did not understand anything at all. I thought that Montresor and Fortunato were opening caskets in the graveyard in their quest to search for wine. Sheesh!!!

3. The poem, Tiger, is not about the animal known to men as tiger, nor is it about nature. It is about questioning God even though His name was not mentioned at all in the poem. Simpletons like us would have said that the poem is the poet's expression of how much he fears the strong and powerful animal and shudders in the presence of the tiger. -_-"

ZOMG if Ms Hema did not run through all of the reading materials that she gave us, most of us would have writen absolute crap and would still be left dazed and confused at the extremely emo and bleak literature materials that she has been feeding us.

This whole thing is affecting us all. Now, we cannot look at a single thing without our brains switching into literature mode and start to figure out or come up with absolute nonsense as to what symbolises what.

AHA!! That entire paragraph up there is a figurative language known as a hyperbole, whereby it is a statement that is greatly exagerated.

ZOMG you see what I mean??? Sighummzz owh baby baby, oops i did it again
Fuhyo, my friends are telling me that I am turning insane already.

Anyway, we really DO play around with all the figurative language and symbolism thingy that we have been studying. Just this morning while reading the newspaper in the quiant taman in college, we came across the advertisement for the latest movie by Adam Sandler, Don't Mess With the Zohan, Derek cheekily turned into poem boy and said that we should practise our English by analysing the picture of Zohan as it is very symbolic and carries a deep meaning.

This is Derek's rendition of what the movie poster actually means:

1. Zohan's super hairy legs symbolises masculinity. So if you want to be mascular, guys, you know what to do. *coughcoughdon'tshavecoughcough*
2. The hair dryer that Zohan is holding symbolises hotness, as we all know that hair dryers are very hot. In other words, Poem Boy is saying that Zohan is hot -_-"
3. The gun on Zohan's back is a symbol of great power. OoooOOoooo
4. The white sandals that Zohan is wearing symbolises purity that can be found within Zohan.
5. Zohan's facial hair (his goatee) symbolises how lonely he is. He keeps a goatee as he is not seeing anyone or is not nagged by anyone to shave off his goatee.

So there you have it. Do not look at things on the surface and take it for what it is. Everything is symbolic. It just depends on how you look at it and how you interpret it. XD